tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-44711804667951356852024-03-14T14:01:52.067-04:00From the Mouth of KayleeThe hilarious things that come out of the mouth of a feisty little girl, as remembered by her mother and other family members. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-8657952881335432432014-01-21T14:34:00.000-05:002014-01-21T14:36:19.476-05:00Carmen is SneakyKaylee has an American Girl Doll named Carmen that she loves oh so very much. The doll sleeps with her, changes clothes almost as often as my daughter, and usually goes every where that we go. Now that she spends every other weekend away from her doll, I've started getting special instructions. <br />
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"Mommy, make sure Carmen goes to bed on time! If you don't watch her she'll stay up all night watching TV!"<br />
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"Mom, make sure Carmen feed her horse. Sometime she forgets and then her horse breaks out of the stable looking for food."<br />
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"Don't forget to put Carmen in her pajamas before bed, otherwise she'll sleep in her clothes and get them all wrinkly!"<br />
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My favorite, though, happened this morning. Apparently we forgot Carmen in the car yesterday so when we got in so I could take her to school this morning she saw Carmen sitting in the seat next to hers and she said "Mommy, that sneaky Carmen got into the car before us so she could ride to school with me!" Her explanation is so much better than mine. <br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-63373966911998238752014-01-13T15:27:00.001-05:002014-01-13T15:27:42.749-05:00Games are Nice Things!Last night as I'm getting Kaylee ready for bed she asks me why she can't have the new video game she's started asking for. I explained that it was just Christmas and mommy spent a lot of money on gifts and that the game was expensive. Then I told her that her birthday was coming up and maybe she would get the game then. And then this happened:<br />
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Kaylee: "Well then why do you work?"<br />
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Me: "What?"<br />
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Kaylee: "You tell me you work so we can have nice things. Games are nice things. Why are you working if we can't have that game?"<br />
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Oh boy are we learning to twist my words...Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-1678023305603929892013-12-06T10:36:00.000-05:002014-01-14T10:38:14.554-05:00He's Playing With My Toys!!!We participate in elf on the shelf at our house. Kaylee named our little guy Thomas, after Thomas the Train and she adores him. However, every now and then the way I set up Thomas doesn't amuse Kaylee at all. This morning was a perfect example. I thought it was a great idea, she would say "Oh Thomas, what have you done?" and laugh like she normally does. Nope. Not this child.<br />
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<br />
She walks in to see Thomas sitting on her toy trucks and walks back to me in actual tears saying mom "Mommmmmmmm, Thomas is playing with my toys again and he never cleans them up!!! And what if he breaks one!!!"<br />
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Oh the joys of having an only child. They don't even know how to share with a magical elf sent straight from Santa. Geesh. Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-62327734781964018052013-03-08T10:04:00.000-05:002013-03-08T10:04:14.874-05:00Eat Your VegetablesThe other night my husband and I were explaining to Kaylee how important it is to eat healthy foods. I said jokingly to Kaylee "You should really eat your vegetables, because if you don't you'll grow up to be short, fat, and lazy like Mommy."<br />
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Kaylee looked at me sweetly and said "Oh mommy, you're not lazy."<br />
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My husband burst out laughing and said "Child, you might want to run."Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-86206679056368018162013-02-19T12:15:00.003-05:002013-02-19T12:18:10.630-05:00Mom, You're in a TruckA little while ago my car was in the shop for a couple of days and I was given a Chevy Silverado to drive. I normally drive a Chevy Equinox, which is much smaller than the full size truck making it an interesting experience.<br />
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One day Kaylee and were driving and we hit unexpected traffic. It wasn't a weekend, and we weren't near a mall or a red light, and there didn't appear to be a wreck or construction so I was puzzled about why we were just sitting. Finally Kaylee said "Mom, why are we just sitting here?" I told her "well, there are cars in front of us, I can't just climb over them" and she said "well there's no one on the sidewalk, and you're in a truck." So I asked her "Who have you seen drive on the sidewalk?!?!?!" and she responded "no one, I came up with it all by myself."<br />
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My child is never getting her license. Ever.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-40537400164551118642013-01-27T10:39:00.001-05:002013-01-27T10:40:55.832-05:00I'm Not Allowed to Talk to StrangersSo I took my daughter out for breakfast at a local fast food place with an indoor playground. She was playing on the playground for about half an hour and no other kids had showed up so we were getting ready to give up and leave, when finally another little girl came in. Kaylee was so excited...until she tried to talk to the other girl. This is the conversation they had.<br />
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Kaylee: "Hi! My name is Kaylee, what's you're name?"<br />
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Girl: "I'm not allowed to talk to strangers"<br />
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Kaylee: "But you're talking to me to tell me you're not allowed to talk to strangers..."<br />
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Girl: "I'm not talking to you! You're talking to me!!!"<br />
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It continued to escalate until Kaylee said "I'm going to go tell your mom! I saw you come in with her, I know which one she is!!!!"<br />
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If I hadn't decided it was time for Kaylee to leave, she probably would have too. I really should have split them up sooner, but every time I opened my mouth to say "Kaylee let's go" I just burst out laughing.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-6851074874264730032013-01-25T13:00:00.000-05:002013-01-25T13:00:08.929-05:00The Dollar TreeI told Kaylee we were going to the Dollar Tree to pick up a few things for a party. When we got there this is what happened.<br />
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Kaylee: "I thought we were going to the Dollar Tree"<br />
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Me: "This IS the Dollar Tree"<br />
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Kaylee: "Huh. This looks nothing like a tree."<br />
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Me: ::facepalm::<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-2520143089825122172013-01-23T20:20:00.002-05:002013-01-23T20:21:08.249-05:00Boys Make Girls CrazySo on the way home Kaylee has been listening to me play the song "Better dig two" by the Band Perry over, and over, and over again. After we'd listened to it at least three times the conversation below happened.<br />
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Kaylee: "The girl in this song is kind of crazy huh?"<br />
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Me: "Yeah, but being in love with a boy will do that to a girl."<br />
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Kaylee: "So is Daddy the reason you're crazy?"<br />
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Me: "Yup."<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-17938074876733799402013-01-21T18:37:00.003-05:002013-01-24T16:01:13.098-05:00That Song Sounds Like VomitWe were driving home this evening when I turned on "One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer."<br />
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Then Kaylee says "Mom, if there's nothing good on the radio maybe you should just turn it off."<br />
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Me: "What are you talking about, this is a GOOD song!"<br />
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Kaylee: "Mom, this song sounds like vomit."<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-24022473778607590612013-01-15T18:01:00.001-05:002013-01-15T18:01:29.480-05:00One Liners<p dir=ltr>Here are a couple of one liners from Kaylee:<br>
"Mom, why are you talking to me like I'm still a little kid or something?"</p>
<p dir=ltr>To her karate instructor "I like milk but mommy can't drink it because it makes her poop."</p>
<p dir=ltr>And this one is more than one line, but I'll post it anyways...<br>
"If you have another baby and its a girl you should let me name her. We could call her Sugar Plum. That's a good name."</p>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-23167041400655742632012-12-24T18:25:00.000-05:002013-01-25T11:25:45.314-05:00Santa's New ListToday Kaylee was playing with her toys and pretending she was adding them to the Naughty and Nice lists and she was writing their names in her notebook as she went. Most of her toys were making it onto the Nice list, but then she got to Barbie. She said "Barbie, you're not naughty, but you sure can be annoying. I think I'm going to have to make an annoying list just for you!" And then she tore out another piece of paper from her notebook, and she made an annoying list just for Barbie.<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-672196537925534172012-12-21T16:40:00.001-05:002013-01-25T11:26:04.919-05:00I am a Candy Cane<div dir="ltr">
Today I wore a shirt that says "I'm not short, I'm elf sized."<br />
Kaylee loved it and tried to memorize what it said so she could tell her friends. At first she repeated it perfectly, but a few hours after she tried to memorize it I heard her saying "I'm not large, I'm a candy cane!"<br />
How bad is it that I didn't correct her?</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-41243787220516235362012-12-16T21:44:00.000-05:002013-01-25T11:26:25.346-05:00Grapes and DogsSo Kaylee is in the living room eating grapes and our dog, Jasper, is in the living room watching her eat grapes when this conversation begins:<br />
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Kaylee: "Mom, can Jasper eat grapes?"<br />
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Me: "No, grapes are poison for dogs"<br />
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Kaylee: "Jasper, spit that out!!!"<br />
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Me: "Did Jasper try to eat a grape?"<br />
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Kaylee: "Um, no, why?"<br />
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I can't imagine why I would have jumped to that conclusion!<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-66344498773311427972012-12-13T21:11:00.000-05:002013-01-25T11:26:42.058-05:00Kaylee Inherited My Road RageKaylee and I were on our way home from her school when the car in front of us stopped for a green light. I had to stop somewhat suddenly and mumbled a few things under my breath while I waited on the other driver to recover from their mistake. Just as we started to move again Kaylee begins yelling form the backseat "The light is green! That means go! That guy needs to see a Doctor because he is blind!"<br />
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Is road rage hereditary?<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-42355201050409255762012-12-11T21:08:00.004-05:002012-12-11T21:09:43.515-05:00Kaylee wants a brother or sisterToday my child asked me to "get" another child. She and I have discussed several times that you cannot simply go to the store and buy a baby. I think this time she meant just go to the park, grab a child, and go home...should I be worried?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-9805206689693851312012-12-11T00:55:00.002-05:002012-12-11T00:55:55.858-05:00What is that on the wall?I think my child chewed up a tootsie roll and then stuck it to the wall. I've convinced myself of this because otherwise, I don't want to think about what I just peeled off the wall.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-89078259252914920202012-12-09T11:45:00.002-05:002012-12-09T11:46:34.153-05:00Kaylee's Opinion on Gay RightsAfter trying to explain to Kaylee what the word "gay" meant and explaining that some people think gay people should not be allowed to be together (i.e. get married) this is what she said:<br />
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Kaylee: "Why do those people think it's any of their business?"<br />
Me: "I know, right?"Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-68490153175606217672012-12-07T06:00:00.000-05:002012-12-07T06:00:10.876-05:00Kids Today and Their Camera Phones<span style="font-family: inherit;">In January of 2011 my mother noticed my daughter examining her cordless house phone and asked Kaylee what she was doing. Kaylee looked at her and said "Grammie, how do you take pictures with this phone?" Ahhh kids today and their newfangled technology... </span>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-1952207199308336432012-12-06T06:00:00.000-05:002012-12-06T06:00:07.221-05:00I Caught Vomit in My Hand<div dir="ltr">
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<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Warning...this post gets kind of gross. Please don't read if you have a weak stomach. </span></span><br />
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<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Up until recently my daughter had not had a stomach ache that ended in vomiting since she was too young to remember. She came home one day last week with a stomach ache and we tried everything we could think of to make it go away. I kept trying to explain to her what it feels like when you are about to vomit and told her if she felt like she needed to do that, to aim for the toilet. </span></span><br />
<span style="line-height: 20px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">A couple of hours later we were sitting in the bathroom when she makes what I recognize to be a vomiting sound. I start trying to get her to aim for the toilet but she panicked and seeing that she was about to throw up on the wall and rug, I automatically stuck out my hand to catch the sick. After it was over, my daughter looked down at what she had done, and said "oh, is that vomit?" I said yes and she said "oh, ok." And then she just walked out of the room to go play with her Barbie’s, leaving me standing there with a handful of her vomit. </span></span><br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-47440277363442512082012-12-05T06:00:00.000-05:002012-12-05T06:00:09.118-05:00Cars with LeatherAlmost two months ago we purchased a new car. Someone I know spent a lot of time convincing me to go leather since I have a child and spills are easier to cleanup on leather than traditional fabric. I resisted for a while because I don't like the smell, I don't like the leather conditioning and other maintenance involved, I don't like thinking where the material came from, etc. Eventually it became easier to find the car I wanted <i>with</i> leather than it would have been to find it without, and since others were urging me to get it as well, I bought a car with leather.<br />
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Cut to last weekend when my dad asked me to pick up fast food on the way to his house. I handed Kaylee her drink and didn't think anything more about it. A few minutes later as we're driving down the road I hear Kaylee go "this leather is great Mom! It doesn't soak up the drink or anything!"<br />
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I think it's time to thank the person who talked me into getting leather.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-63104215887144737352012-12-04T06:00:00.000-05:002012-12-04T06:00:00.679-05:00Adventures at Brasstown BaldBack in April of 2010 Kaylee went on a hiking trip to Brasstown Bald with me, my cousin Andrea, and her now husband Mark. Assuming you don't know Mark, I will go ahead and tell you that he has the energy of a three year old, and since Kaylee was three at the time it worked out perfectly.<br />
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At that time, Kaylee thought pooting was great. She spent the whole trip singing songs about pooting which she made up herself and Mark provided sound effects to go with the songs.<br />
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When we got there I brought out the stroller so if Kaylee got tired I could push her. The problem was, she and Mark had bonded now thanks to the pooting songs so if Mark was walking, Kaylee was walking. Not only did she walk the whole trail, she pushed her own stroller.<br />
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The way up was mostly uneventful, but on the way down we learned a few things.<br />
1. If you tell a three year old not to let go of the stroller, the first thing they will do is let go of said stroller.<br />
2. If you let go of a stroller anywhere near a cliff, it will go over the edge. Luckily it was only about a 10 foot drop.<br />
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3. If Mark gets a walking stick, Kaylee gets a walking stick.<br />
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After we reached the car I gave Kaylee a bottle of water to drink. About an hour and a half later I realized she had spilled about half of the bottle in her car-seat and just sat in it the whole time, never saying a word. She was soaked from her thighs to the middle of her back and apparently she was just fine with that. </div>
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When we stopped at a drugstore so I could run in and get something, probably related to Kaylee's water spill though I can't remember exactly what it was, I came out of the store to find Andrea giggling and Kaylee singing along to the song "So What" by Pink. She spent the next couple of months repeating the only lyrics she could remember from that song which were "I wanna start a <span style="font-family: inherit;">fight!"</span></div>
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Who says hiking isn't an adventure? </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-42844652926770063492012-12-03T19:14:00.001-05:002012-12-03T19:15:03.095-05:00Why Yes, My Child Does Love Dr. WhoKaylee: When we get home can we watch the movie about the doctor?<br />
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Me: Doctor Who?</div>
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Kaylee: Yeah, that's the one.</div>
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Well played child, well played. </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-61919086910995087712012-12-03T14:22:00.000-05:002012-12-03T14:22:13.263-05:00Is it Christmas Yet?<br />
We've reached that magical time of the year where Kaylee wakes up every morning and says "is it Christmas yet?" Followed by "well when will it be Christmas?" and "A few weeks??? You said that yesterday!"<br />
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It's like a holiday version of our family road trips.<br />
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-29172032820155548372012-12-02T22:06:00.003-05:002012-12-03T17:04:21.608-05:00Five Year Olds and Fuzzy MathThis morning my daughter told me that she had a dream that we had thousands of pet bunnies. She said that at night, all of the girl rabbits, of which there are 3, would sleep in her room with her. Meanwhile all of the boy rabbits, of which there were about 100, would sleep in mine and my husbands room along with the dog. Sounds cozy right?<br />
<br />
So I asked her where all of the other bunnies slept. She asked me what I was talking about, so I reminded her that she told me we had thousands of bunnies and that she had only told me where 103 of them slept. She just rolled her eyes and said "Mom, 103 bunnies IS thousands of bunnies."<br />
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I'm so glad she could clear that up for me.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4471180466795135685.post-11679149787914330492012-12-01T18:55:00.002-05:002012-12-02T01:11:03.745-05:00The Beatles vs Katy PerryKaylee and I were in the car this morning and a Beatles song came on. I decided that would be a great time to teach her about the Beatles and how great they were and that they changed the music industry, etc. etc.<br />
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So when I'm done with what must have been a 15 minute speech she says "ohhhh, so they were like Katy Perry then?"<br />
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It's good to know she understood what I was saying.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10309020552230548971noreply@blogger.com0