Monday, December 24, 2012

Santa's New List

Today Kaylee was playing with her toys and pretending she was adding them to the Naughty and Nice lists and she was writing their names in her notebook as she went. Most of her toys were making it onto the Nice list, but then she got to Barbie. She said "Barbie, you're not naughty, but you sure can be annoying. I think I'm going to have to make an annoying list just for you!" And then she tore out another piece of paper from her notebook, and she made an annoying list just for Barbie.

Friday, December 21, 2012

I am a Candy Cane

Today I wore a shirt that says "I'm not short, I'm elf sized."
Kaylee loved it and tried to memorize what it said so she could tell her friends. At first she repeated it perfectly, but a few hours after she tried to memorize it I heard her saying "I'm not large, I'm a candy cane!"
How bad is it that I didn't correct her?

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Grapes and Dogs

So Kaylee is in the living room eating grapes and our dog, Jasper, is in the living room watching her eat grapes when this conversation begins:

Kaylee: "Mom, can Jasper eat grapes?"

Me: "No, grapes are poison for dogs"

Kaylee: "Jasper, spit that out!!!"

Me: "Did Jasper try to eat a grape?"

Kaylee: "Um, no, why?"

I can't imagine why I would have jumped to that conclusion!

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Kaylee Inherited My Road Rage

Kaylee and I were on our way home from her school when the car in front of us stopped for a green light. I had to stop somewhat suddenly and mumbled a few things under my breath while I waited on the other driver to recover from their mistake. Just as we started to move again Kaylee begins yelling form the backseat "The light is green! That means go! That guy needs to see a Doctor because he is blind!"

Is road rage hereditary?

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Kaylee wants a brother or sister

Today my child asked me to "get" another child. She and I have discussed several times that you cannot simply go to the store and buy a baby. I think this time she meant just go to the park, grab a child, and go home...should I be worried?

What is that on the wall?

I think my child chewed up a tootsie roll and then stuck it to the wall. I've convinced myself of this because otherwise, I don't want to think about what I just peeled off the wall.

Sunday, December 9, 2012

Kaylee's Opinion on Gay Rights

After trying to explain to Kaylee what the word "gay" meant and explaining that some people think gay people should not be allowed to be together (i.e. get married) this is what she said:

Kaylee: "Why do those people think it's any of their business?"
Me: "I know, right?"

Friday, December 7, 2012

Kids Today and Their Camera Phones

In January of 2011 my mother noticed my daughter examining her cordless house phone and asked Kaylee what she was doing. Kaylee looked at her and said "Grammie, how do you take pictures with this phone?" Ahhh kids today and their newfangled technology... 

Thursday, December 6, 2012

I Caught Vomit in My Hand


Warning...this post gets kind of gross. Please don't read if you have a weak stomach. 

Up until recently my daughter had not had a stomach ache that ended in vomiting since she was too young to remember. She came home one day last week with a stomach ache and we tried everything we could think of to make it go away. I kept trying to explain to her what it feels like when you are about to vomit and told her if she felt like she needed to do that, to aim for the toilet. 
A couple of hours later we were sitting in the bathroom when she makes what I recognize to be a vomiting sound. I start trying to get her to aim for the toilet but she panicked and seeing that she was about to throw up on the wall and rug, I automatically stuck out my hand to catch the sick. After it was over, my daughter looked down at what she had done, and said "oh, is that vomit?" I said yes and she said "oh, ok." And then she just walked out of the room to go play with her Barbie’s, leaving me standing there with a handful of her vomit. 

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

Cars with Leather

Almost two months ago we purchased a new car. Someone I know spent a lot of time convincing me to go leather since I have a child and spills are easier to cleanup on leather than traditional fabric. I resisted for a while because I don't like the smell, I don't like the leather conditioning and other maintenance involved, I don't like thinking where the material came from, etc. Eventually it became easier to find the car I wanted with leather than it would have been to find it without, and since others were urging me to get it as well, I bought a car with leather.

Cut to last weekend when my dad asked me to pick up fast food on the way to his house. I handed Kaylee her drink and didn't think anything more about it. A few minutes later as we're driving down the road I hear Kaylee go "this leather is great Mom! It doesn't soak up the drink or anything!"

I think it's time to thank the person who talked me into getting leather.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Adventures at Brasstown Bald

Back in April of 2010 Kaylee went on a hiking trip to Brasstown Bald with me, my cousin Andrea, and her now husband Mark. Assuming you don't know Mark, I will go ahead and tell you that he has the energy of a three year old, and since Kaylee was three at the time it worked out perfectly.

At that time, Kaylee thought pooting was great. She spent the whole trip singing songs about pooting which she made up herself and Mark provided sound effects to go with the songs.

When we got there I brought out the stroller so if Kaylee got tired I could push her. The problem was, she and Mark had bonded now thanks to the pooting songs so if Mark was walking, Kaylee was walking. Not only did she walk the whole trail, she pushed her own stroller.


The way up was mostly uneventful, but on the way down we learned a few things.
1. If you tell a three year old not to let go of the stroller, the first thing they will do is let go of said stroller.
2. If you let go of a stroller anywhere near a cliff, it will go over the edge. Luckily it was only about a 10 foot drop.

3. If Mark gets a walking stick, Kaylee gets a walking stick.

After we reached the car I gave Kaylee a bottle of water to drink. About an hour and a half later I realized she had spilled about half of the bottle in her car-seat and just sat in it the whole time, never saying a word. She was soaked from her thighs to the middle of her back and apparently she was just fine with that. 

When we stopped at a drugstore so I could run in and get something, probably related to Kaylee's water spill though I can't remember exactly what it was, I came out of the store to find Andrea giggling and Kaylee singing along to the song "So What" by Pink. She spent the next couple of months repeating the only lyrics she could remember from that song which were "I wanna start a fight!"

Who says hiking isn't an adventure? 

Monday, December 3, 2012

Why Yes, My Child Does Love Dr. Who

Kaylee: When we get home can we watch the movie about the doctor?
Me: Doctor Who?
Kaylee: Yeah, that's the one.

Well played child, well played. 

Is it Christmas Yet?


We've reached that magical time of the year where Kaylee wakes up every morning and says "is it Christmas yet?" Followed by "well when will it be Christmas?" and "A few weeks??? You said that yesterday!"

It's like a holiday version of our family road trips.

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Five Year Olds and Fuzzy Math

This morning my daughter told me that she had a dream that we had thousands of pet bunnies. She said that at night, all of the girl rabbits, of which there are 3, would sleep in her room with her. Meanwhile all of the boy rabbits, of which there were about 100, would sleep in mine and my husbands room along with the dog. Sounds cozy right?

So I asked her where all of the other bunnies slept. She asked me what I was talking about, so I reminded her that she told me we had thousands of bunnies and that she had only told me where 103 of them slept. She just rolled her eyes and said "Mom, 103 bunnies IS thousands of bunnies."

I'm so glad she could clear that up for me.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The Beatles vs Katy Perry

Kaylee and I were in the car this morning and a Beatles song came on. I decided that would be a great time to teach her about the Beatles and how great they were and that they changed the music industry, etc. etc.

So when I'm done with what must have been a 15 minute speech she says "ohhhh, so they were like Katy Perry then?"

It's good to know she understood what I was saying.